What is a Lifebook?

A Lifebook is a special book that adoptive parents write for their children to give them as much information as possible about their lives prior to adoption.

A Lifebook is meant to be shared over a lifetime to encourage open and ongoing talks about how and why a child came to be adopted.

A Lifebook gives a child the details about her birth date, birth place and country background. It also talks about some of the challenges that birth parents might have faced when making an adoption plan.

A Lifebook invites children to ask questions and express feelings about adoption at every age, while equipping parents with the tools to support their children along the way.

Here is a quote from a fellow Magpie ( MayDTC Group ):

Nothing in the world can take place of persistence. Talent not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful individuals with talent. Genius will not, unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world if full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent.
> -Calvin Coolidge
>
> Stay strong fellow magpies! Persistence, faith, courage and
> determination will see us through.

Thanks fellow Magpie !!!

Well the stork is flying.. I can not wait to see all the new referral pictures.. Congrats to all the people who were LID on or before June 28th 2005..

Well it is finally raining.. We need the rain so badly...I hope that we do not get flooded..

I Once Had A Life

I once had a life where my days were not filled with time on the internet checking to see if anyone had gotten referrals today.

I once had a life where I didn't know what the word dossier meant.I once had a life where my life wasn't consumed with a dossier.

I once had a life where I wasn't trying to name a girl from another country.

I once had a life where I didn't stress about how long the USCIS office took for documents.

I once had a life where I didn't know such places as the CCAA website existed.

I once had a life where I could go to the store and not be smitten at the sight of a beautiful Asian child.

I once had a life where I wasn't scrutinizing photos to find those perfect pictures that told about my life.

I once had a life where ladybugs didn't have a special meaning.

I once had a life where I knew the end date of a "pregnancy" was 9 months, it was finite.

I once had a life where I wasn't attached to the phone, checking caller id every time it rang, hoping it was my agency.

I once had a life where I felt I was not ruled by the whims of 2 governments, multiple social workers, and countless other people who could throw my dream off.

I once had a life where my life was private.I once had a life that was boring, without hope of a special little girl, and it wasn't complete.

When a child is born, an invisible red thread reaches out from the child’s spirit and connects to all important people who will enter the child’s life. As the child grows, the threads shorten, bringing closer those people who are destined to be together. ~Chinese Proverb~

I got my second post card today... Boy do I love getting fun snail mail.. Thanks Jonni and John.. This post card swap is great fun !

IT IS OFFICIAL !!!!! I got an e mail from GWCA today..... My LID is 5/18/06.. Yeah.. I am doing a happy, happy dance...

I got my first post card today from the MayDTC group. It made my day. Thanks Amy, Tim, and Mackenzie. I am starting to address my post cards to send out.

Well I went out and bought 30 Texas post cards for the post card swap with the MayDTC group.. Now I just have to write on them and send them out..

Probably more food is consumed during the New Year celebrations than any other time of the year. Vast amounts of traditional food is prepared for family and friends, as well as those close to us who have died.

On New Year's Day, the Chinese family will eat a vegetarian dish called jai. Although the various ingredients in jai are root vegetables or fibrous vegetables, many people attribute various superstitious aspects to them:

* Lotus seed - signify having many male offspring
* Ginkgo nut - represents silver ingots
* Black moss seaweed - is a homonym for exceeding in wealth
* Dried bean curd is another homonym for fulfillment of wealth and happiness
* Bamboo shoots - is a term which sounds like "wishing that everything would be well"
* Fresh bean curd or tofu is not included as it is white and unlucky for New Year as the color signifies death and misfortune.

Other foods include a whole fish, to represent togetherness and abundance, and a chicken for prosperity. The chicken must be presented with a head, tail and feet to symbolize completeness. Noodles should be uncut, as they represent long life.
In south China, the favorite and most typical dishes were nian gao, sweet steamed glutinous rice pudding and zong zi (glutinous rice wrapped up in reed leaves), another popular delicacy.

In the north, steamed-wheat bread (man tou) and small meat dumplings were the preferred food. The tremendous amount of food prepared at this time was meant to symbolize abundance and wealth for the household.

Chinese New Year starts with the New Moon on the first day of the new year and ends on the full moon 15 days later. The 15th day of the new year is called the Lantern Festival, which is celebrated at night with lantern displays and children carrying lanterns in a parade.

The Chinese calendar is based on a combination of lunar and solar movements. The lunar cycle is about 29.5 days. In order to "catch up" with the solar calendar the Chinese insert an extra month once every few years (seven years out of a 19-yearcycle). This is the same as adding an extra day on leap year. This is why, according to the solar calendar, the Chinese New Year falls on a different date each year.

New Year's Eve and New Year's Day are celebrated as a family affair, a time of reunion and thanksgiving. The celebration was traditionally highlighted with a religious ceremony given in honor of Heaven and Earth, the gods of the household and the family ancestors.

The sacrifice to the ancestors, the most vital of all the rituals, united the living members with those who had passed away. Departed relatives are remembered with great respect because they were responsible for laying the foundations for the fortune and glory of the family.

The presence of the ancestors is acknowledged on New Year's Eve with a dinner arranged for them at the family banquet table. The spirits of the ancestors, together with the living, celebrate the onset of the New Year as one great community. The communal feast called "surrounding the stove" or weilu. It symbolizes family unity and honors the past and present generations.

Ladybugs - Believed to be good luck by most people, but for those awaiting the referral of a Chinese baby, they mean MUCH more. One spring while everyone waited for their referrals, there was a huge infiltration of ladybugs across the nation and immediately following these sightings a flood of referrals came. Or so the story goes. . . . . .

What is a 100 Good Wishes Quilt?



To welcome and celebrate a new life, there is a tradition in the northern part of China to make a Bai Jia Bei, or 100 Good Wishes Quilt. It is a custom to invite friends and family to contribute a patch of cloth with a wish for the baby. Part of the patch of cloth goes into the quilt for the baby, and the other part of the cloth goes into a scrapbook with the wish for the child. The quilt contains the blessings from all the families and friends who contributed a piece of fabric.

In Chinese culture, a baby's first month birthday calls for a celebration. Proud parents introduce their latest addition to friends and relatives by holding a red egg and ginger party. Traditionally, the baby's name is also announced at this time.
Guests attending red egg and ginger parties bring gifts. Lysee or "lucky money" in red envelopes is often given to baby boys, while girls may receive expensive jewelry. The guests don't leave empty handed, either. The parents hand out red-dyed eggs, symbolizing happiness and the renewal of life.

Red egg and ginger parties have their origins in ancient Chinese culture. As in other countries, infant mortality rates in China were quite high prior to the medical advances of the twentieth century. A baby who reached one month of age was likely to survive, and so the event was celebrated.

Traditionally, this was also a time to reintroduce the mother to the world. The Chinese believe mothers are in a highly weakened state in the period immediately following birth. Just as English custom calls for new mothers to enjoy a brief period of confinement, Chinese mothers have traditionally been expected to rest indoors for one full month after giving birth. This helped ensure they didn't become overtired, or contract any germs or illnesses from the outside world that could prove dangerous in their weakened state. Besides resting, they drank a nutritious broth made with pig's feet, eggs, vinegar and ginger. Many new mothers still follow this ritual today.

In the past, due to the traditional importance of male children in Chinese culture, red egg and ginger parties were sometimes given for boys only, or the celebration for boys was more elaborate. Today, parties are given for babies of both sexes.
In recent years, some of the traditions surrounding red egg and ginger parties have been modified. Parents may choose to hold the celebration at a fancy restaurant, complete with costumed Chinese performers or even a children's magician. Also, the baby may be anywhere from one to three months old by the time the party is held. But the custom of passing out red-dyed eggs continues. Parents may also use the brightly colored eggs to announce the birth; an even number of eggs are sent out for a boy, and an odd number to announce a baby girl.

The Red Thread
"An invisible red thread connects those destined to meet, regardless of time, place, or circumstance," the saying goes. "The thread may stretch or tangle, but never break."
After much searching and researching - The mystery of The Red Thread is solved! The Red Thread is, as has widely been accepted here in the Chinese Adoption Community, a symbol of the inevitability that two souls, who are destined to be together, will overcome any obstacles or challenges in the quest to be together. Certainly, it is easy to see how waiting parents would be attracted to this as a symbol of the twisting turning paths toward our children born in a far-away land.
As with all myths, legends or folklore there is an element of truth and/or history involved.
In this case, Red symbolizes good fortune and luck hence, a bride was traditionally dressed in Red on such an auspicious occasion as her wedding day. While the ceremony itself is simple, the festivities, planning, and precise schedule of events is complex and heavily invested in symbolism. At the precise moment that a man and woman are bound in marriage they drink wine from goblets that are literally tied together with Red Thread. If the parents and the astrologers have done their job, the married pair will find happiness in completing their destined match.
Today wedding customs all over China are modernizing and westernizing such that the current ceremony would be unrecognizable to the ancestors.

Poems on the theme of Adoption


FLESH OF MY FLESH

Not flesh of my flesh,
Nor bone of my bone,
But still miraculously my own.
Never forget for a single minute,
You didn't grow under my heart - but in it

~ Fleur Conkling Heylinger ~


THE GIFT OF LIFE

I didn't give you the gift of life,
But in my heart I know.
The love I feel is deep and real,
As if it had been so.

For us to have each other
Is like a dream come true!
No, I didn't give you
The gift of life,
Life gave me the gift of you.

~ Author Unknown ~


KISSES IN THE WIND

I hold you in my heart
and touch you in my dreams.
You are here each day with me,
at least that's how it seems.

I know you wonder where I am...
what's taking me so long.
But remember child, I love you so
and God will keep you strong.

Now go outside and feel the breeze
and let it touch your skin...
Because tonight, just as always,
I blow you kisses in the wind.

May God hold you in His hand
until I can be with you.
I promise you, my darling,
I'm doing all that I can do.

Very soon, you'll have a family
for real, not just pretend.
But for tonight, just as always,
I blow you kisses in the wind.

May God wrap you in His arms
and hold you very tight.
And let the angels bring the kisses
that I send to you each night.

~ Author Unknown ~


MY CHILD, MEDITATIONS ON A NEW MOON

My child,
I carried you in my heart
before you were even born
And dared to dream that you were real.

My child,
I carried your picture with me
since the day I received it,
And dared to love a child I was yet to meet.

My child,
I carried you in my arms at last,
and gazed in helpless wonder at your face,
And dared to lose my heart to you.

And now, my child,
a dream fulfilled,
a prayer answered,
a family created,
I have dared to become
a mom.

And so now,my precious child,
I shall carry you
home.

~ Jill Work ~



HOW COULD YOU KNOW?

As you lay sleeping far away
as still as you could be...
How could you know the joy today
this photo brings to me?

A few short weeks and you'll be mine,
and "I" will soon be "We".
How could you know the love I feel?
It's something you can't see.

So have sweet dreams, my precious babe.
Sleep well and tenderly.
Some say that you're the lucky one.
How could you know it's me?

~ Kris Laughlin ~


ON THE WINGS OF A PRAYER

I set you free on the wings of a prayer
To fly through life in His tender care,

You're free from the nest and the ties that are bound
Free from the pressures I carry around.

If I kept you I'd only be cutting your wings,
Not offering the chance a true family brings.

The decision I've made has my heart torn in two,
But I know what I'm doing is the best thing for you.

The sky is so vast, the mountains so high
Take wing and remember: I love you.

Goodbye.

~ LISA BOTE-PHILLIPS, a birth mother ~







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